Embracing Your Village of Support
We are continuing our conversation with Senior Placement Manager Kimberly Tobin, who had her baby in late fall. After trying to “do it all”, she found relief and rest when she was able to accept help.
“Going into becoming a Mom, I felt like the dreaded “night shift” was just a part of the journey and I would just do it. While that is partly true, doing it and being able to keep your sanity are two very different things.
Nothing can prepare you for being able to function on little-to-no sleep. Overall, my baby Hartley slept about as much as a normal newborn (at least what I think is normal ). She was waking up every 2ish hours around the clock, when I would feed her and change her diaper. And whoever says “sleep when the baby is sleeping” is nuts! I have dozens of personal things to take care of during some of those coveted sleeping hours like showering, eating, stepping outside, making a call, watching a show (any Bachelor fans??), or simply sitting in peace. Honestly, I found that doing some of my normal household tasks made me feel normal – like laundry, loading the dishwasher, and wiping off a counter. Being a Mom felt so new and at times scary, however running my house was comforting.
Since my husband only had 2 weeks of paternity leave, he went back to work and needed to be able to function at a high level during the day. He did his best to help during the nights, but at times I felt a little guilty knowing he would be getting up to an alarm soon to go to work for 8-10 hours (not that caring for a newborn 24/7 isn’t a job, can I get an Amen??). This is where I know many of my client families over the years call me for overnight newborn care. Frazzled, emotional, drained, and desperate. I get it now!! I knew I needed help. Fortunately, I was able to reach out to my Mom in this capacity.
Her help was a game-changer, even though I had a hard time admitting that I needed help. It started with waking my Mom up to ask her to hold Hartley so I could get an hour of sleep, and this was tough for me to ask. In fact, I fully admit to sleeping on her nursery floor while my Mom rocked Hartley. Eventually and with my mom’s encouragement, I was able to fully relinquish several full nights per week so I could truly feel refreshed.
While we all want to be “Supermom” and do it all, it’s actually a gift to have a village of support and everybody’s village looks a bit different. For some, it is family and friends, and for others, it is an experienced overnight newborn care specialist or night nanny. Whatever feels right for your family, know that it is okay to ask for help! If you find yourself nervous about what comes after coming home from the hospital with your new little baby, please reach out, and let’s chat. I would love nothing more than to help you build your village and find peace knowing you will be supported!”
-Kimberly Tobin, kimberly.tobin@mbfagency.com, 512-381-3146, schedule a call with me